Why Didn’t It Take?
Ah, why ask why… There could be so many reasons that it would be impossible to list them all. Did your loved one follow through with their treatment plan? Have any support besides you? Did he begin a sober routine, or come home and continue with things as they were? Is he hanging out with old buddies? Were you convinced that things were gonna be different this time, so you left him alone to do things his way? Have you become so immune to the lies and manipulations that you don’t even notice them anymore? Have you.. have you.. have you…?
Then you may ask yourself, “Have I!? What’s this ‘I’ stuff ? I’m not the one with the problem. When will he ever get it together?” Your patience ended somewhere around treatment center #5, and your vacation savings went by the wayside long ago. Is all this really necessary or worth it? Should you just give up? Your friend’s daughter got it, so you did what they did but it didn’t work anyway. At this point you may wish to kill Jerome yourself, rather than wait for the addiction to do it!Read more: Recovery Help
Is There a Guarantee?
It would be nice if there was a formula to follow that would ensure sobriety. Or how about a money back guarantee? Given the time and expense invested that would be nice, but in recovery, as well as in life, there are just too many variables. Unfortunately, the disease of addiction is incurable and fatal if left untreated, so how much is the life of your loved one worth? Try not to ask yourself that question when you’re fed up, however…
If addiction were just a social issue, the answers to those questions might be obvious. Addiction is truly an illness, involving both physiological and psychological components in a such complex way that new information is still being uncovered. Those who only go by what they observe on the outside are repeatedly dismayed at what seems like a lack of progress or motivation. It’s no wonder that what worked for Susie did not work for Jerome. How our bodies and brains respond and process things are as different in each addict as are each individual’s personalities. We’re not cookie-cutter people, so we should not look at treatment as one size fits all, either.
That’s not to say that certain ideas and symptoms aren’t somewhat universal. It’s just that treatment should be tailored to the individual addict’s issues and history. Choosing the right fit may be the piece of the puzzle you’ve missed. If you’re the one who’s been making the assessment as to what’s needed, maybe there are things that you are unaware of that are crucial. You may have sent Jerome to the same treatment center in town each time because it’s cheaper, easier, and more convenient, for example, but what you don’t know is that he’s had his girlfriend setting up the party for his release, because he’s long ago tuned out what they have to say. He’s heard it all before, and he’s given up on himself years ago. He may think that each time he’ll do things different, but he never does. He may have resigned himself to the fact that he’s gonna die an addict/alcoholic anyway, so what’s the use?
Is Giving Up the Same as Surrender?
It’s important when things reach that point to finally put up the white flag and surrender. There’s really not much choice to the matter. You’ve done all that you could. In this instance, maybe it’s surrender to win that you’re really looking at. When we surrender, we finally admit that the challenge has become too much. Then we’re ready to seek the help of professionals, which becomes the “win” part of the equation. When we admit that we can’t control our loved one’s addiction, we can now become open-minded enough to discover what really works, not just what we think will work. If you don’t expect the gardener to hang your drywall, why would you choose anyone but a professional to make choices that may prove the difference between success and failure, which for a late-stage addict may literally be a choice between life and death?
Is it ever too late? Not until the addict dies. With all the options out there, if what you’ve tried before hasn’t worked, do some research. Consult those who work in the field to show you options you may not even know about. Maybe the local treatment center is convenient, but once Jerome is far away from his girlfriend and finds a long-term treatment option, he finally stays sober for more than a year and is still going strong! Maybe the physicians where he went uncovered an underlying problem that needed addressing, and that was all it took. Maybe it was a change in environment that did it. Maybe he needed a dose of hope or a shot of fear to get through to him. Our hearts and love may go out to the addict in our lives, but maybe that means we aren’t the most objective when it comes to what will actually work.
Help for You
Different therapies, different environments, added strategies, and other things can do much to inspire a new approach and generate some willingness. Going the extra mile and asking for help by professionals who know what you’re going through can make a big difference. And maybe you could use some help for yourself! Discuss what you’ve been doing. Maybe there’s a flaw in your approach or the way you’ve been trying to help. It sometimes happens that what we thought was helpful was really enabling and hindering the process!
There is a truism about addiction stating that “rarely does a person want to change until the pain of what he’s undergoing becomes worse than the fear of what’s ahead.” Maybe your addict has been a bit too comfortable because you’re so afraid he’ll die on the streets if you don’t help him out! And if your addict hasn’t really wanted to get clean, there wasn’t much chance to begin with. You can lead that horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. If that be the case, help for yourself may be the best option. Check out Al-Anon or some other source of support. Maybe you will unknowingly influence your loved one after all when the state of your life isn’t all wrapped around the state of his. That’s a lot of control to give someone over your life!
Patience may seem a lot to ask when the drain on your life has been significant, but if you can hold out, get some help to do something different then what you’ve been doing, then you may be able to finally help your loved one to break the cycle. The reward will be immense.
Whatever path to recovery you choose, our staff has access to hundreds of treatment centers to assure the best personalized treatment for you, then with continued follow up to help you make the transition to sober living as seamless as possible.
Our trained staff of professionals are qualified to help you assess what type of treatment will be the best fit to ensure you or your loved one gets the help you need.
But how does one go about finding the right program?
If this all looks very overwhelming....it is! But that's what we are here for. Call us at 888-205-8608 and we can help make this process much easier. We will narrow down all of these aspects and find the best program for you or your loved one with all your concerns considered. It's as simple as making that first call. And the best part is that we are a free service. The road to recovery starts here!
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